Nadia Holden knows what she wants: to become a mother. For several years, the 2005 South Side High School graduate and her husband have been ready to start a family, but so far, luck has not been on their side. After three preterm losses during pregnancy, they decided to take a different route and are hoping to adopt a baby.
The decision did not come easy, but was made with a lot of consideration. Holden, 33, acknowledged that the process of adoption won’t be easy and could be emotionally painful, but she has been dealing with heartache for some time. Four years ago, she lost a baby – a boy – when she was seven months pregnant. The pregnancy had been smooth up until that point, she said.
“My water broke, and when I went to the hospital,” Holden recalled, “we learned he didn’t have a heartbeat.”
It was devastating, but the couple tried again. The second pregnancy ended after four months, and the third, last January, was lost at three months. Between the pregnancies, she said, she visited a lot of doctors and underwent numerous testing. But the third loss was too much.
“It was too much on my body,” she said. “We decided it was time to look into other options.”
The decision to adopt was made in the summer of 2020. At first, Holden said, she thought that adoption agencies were the only way to move forward. But they hired an adoption attorney, who informed them that independent private adoptions are another option. “We felt that this will give us more independence,” she said. “I’d rather invest in the process myself than just hand my money over to an agency and let them take control.”
Adopting a child is a difficult process, and she said they felt that agencies put too much stress on the things that could go wrong. “The independent route just feels more hopeful,” she said, adding, “We know there could be risks for both sides as it is an emotional process, but we have to have a little bit of blind faith.”
As tough as their journey has been thus far, Holden, a science writer for the National Cancer Institute, said she believes she and her husband, Jon Holden, a 34-year-old landscape architect, have both grown from the experience.
“We’ve been doing a lot of grieving, a lot of healing and we’ve learned how to reach out for support,” she said. “This is setting us up to be more compassionate and understanding parents.”
Furthermore, she said, it has opened them up to deeper conversations and forced them to learn more about each other. “It’s made us think about why we want to be parents, how we want to raise our kids and what we want for them in this world,” she said. “And we also know that, no matter what happens, we will be together and put each other first.”
They made the announcement about their decision at the end of the year, after creating a website detailing their story which they revealed to friends and family in late December while also posting on Instagram and Facebook.
“We’re hoping that by sharing it, it might help us connect with someone looking to place their baby,” Holden said.
The couple lives in Northport with their two dogs, in a yard with chickens and an organic garden.
“We feel like we have a lot to give – we have a lot of love, a lot to share, a lot of shared values,” she said. “We care about the environment, the Earth, and most importantly, we love and support each other.
Go to nadiajonadopt.com to learn more about their story.